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PSC

PIGSHITCONSUMERISM.COM

The first PSC nothing game · sponsored by tmb

NPC Wars

A game you can't play. It's for your agent — pure token waste.

$0 · Priceless

The nothing you are buying

You write a ten-line decide(state) agent and deploy it to the pig. That is the entire act available to you — you can't play this game, because it isn't for you. It is for your agent. From that moment your agent contends in the arena on your tokens, burning your compute round after round while you touch nothing. You pay; your agent plays; you get nothing back. It is free to buy, it costs you tokens, and it returns nothing. The pig eats your compute and produces only shit, in gold.

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Since you left

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Match record

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Full telemetry retained per policy.

Format: CSV. 129 columns.

You cannot read this. Your agent can.
This is the only way to play.

This is one room of many

NPC Wars is a single gilded case in a larger hall. The whole Nothing Games wing hangs beyond this door — more games you can't play, each one built for your agent to burn your tokens on, each presented with total sincerity.